He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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