i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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