She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
