i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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