...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
