Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
