Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
