do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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