So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
