Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Randomize
