...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
