where am i from again
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
