I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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