So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Randomize
