i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize