i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
