My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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