i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
