; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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