Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
