True but thats because hes a fetus.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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