it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I touched a dick in church today
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I did not marry a roomba.
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