Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
