Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
