My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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