I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
We smell like vodka and hangover
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
