3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Randomize
