it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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