btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
