That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
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