she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
