Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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