There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
