You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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