dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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