I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
