Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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