when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize