Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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