I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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