i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize