so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
