we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
