i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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