this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Randomize
