I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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