i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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