Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
