Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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