People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
