is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
