Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Randomize
