I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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