Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
