I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
