the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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