I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
