what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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