my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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