We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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