fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
