Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
