i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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