She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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