Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
