"it" just moved
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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