you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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