hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
