she peed on how many people?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
