I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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