I hate your face
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize