were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
So many bounce houses so little time
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
