His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
how does that bad decision feel?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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