Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
